How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.