Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?