i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I could fuck to npr.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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