I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
