Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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