And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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