Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
