Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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