she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
one might say we're banned from that church
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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