JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
