my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
