I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
