So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
