Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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