Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
