Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
