I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
