We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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