NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
