piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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