my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
