whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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