I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
