If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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