you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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