Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize