I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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