This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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