I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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