Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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