i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
