I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
