oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
