I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
