There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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