Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
