Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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