We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
