I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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