He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
