I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
