I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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