every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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