Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
