Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
