these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Found the puke drawer
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
