Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
