well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
