Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
