the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize