Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
