Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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