did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think your dad took our porno
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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