She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
