I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
