i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
