I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
FUCK WHALES
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