I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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