UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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