Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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