the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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