Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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