this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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