she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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