Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
