did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
