I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
