is your mom at the bar?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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